TRC - さくら

It's been Friend's Only...


Comment here if you want to be my friend. 

Updated October 30th, 2008. Kyou Kara Maou Version.
Updated September 13th, 2009, SM Entertainment version
Updated December 09th, 2010, U-Kiss (Manmanhani) Version
Updated July 28th, 2012, Tales of Symphonia (Chibi) Version

Of course I stay awake until 5AM in the morning to change this banner to ToS =_=
ToS - コレット

Fanime day 3 (for me) Monday, May 27, 2013 [Last Day]

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Pictures 021
This will be the last of my fanime experience posts, and back to being Friends Only! The picture on the left is my current bag with the pins I got at Fanime. My favorite characters in each of the games... Of course there's other games I haven't included and other pins I should have gotten but regret not getting. The right obviously are the things I got on Monday lol.
[And here is the rest of my Fanime Adventure with C!]
Well C and I woke up slightly earlier on Monday and grabbed all her stuff so she can return home after Fanime. (lets just say that was a bad idea since she ended up staying another night at my place lol). Well we got to the Caltrain station at the same time as the previous day (and since the Caltrain was running on Sunday schedule since it was Memorial Day) we knew how much time we had before the Caltrain left. We stopped by the Starbucks in Safeway and got drinks. We boarded the Caltrain and I spent at least an hour trying to tie my hair so I can keep the cute white mini hat I had to stay in my hair. I'm sure C was just laughing at me while I kept trying to do different hairstyles before I gave up and went with two low pigtails. On the train we also looked through the Fairy Tail Illustrations artbook I bought a while ago to see if there are any ideas as to what character & costume we could wear for next year's fanime. We were talking about Inu x Boku SS and she was saying maybe she can cosplay as Yukinokouji Nobara, and I told her she needs something that can clearly show she's Yukinokouji because she can't always be glomping girls & saying "Maniac!" Eventually, we got off the Caltrain and directly walked to the convention center instead of going in circles like we did the previous day. We got there in 20 minutes rather than the 30 minutes google map said it would take.

We went straight to the convention center and walked upstairs and found chairs to sit down on for a bit because C needed to deal with some personal business. I was next to her trying to take selcas and failing. While I was taking selcas I ran into a Grell and asked if I could take a picture. When I was finished C was finished with dealing with her problems so I took a picture with her since we didn't take too many pictures together for some reason. We got up and eventually started walking around and I got a picture of a Yuna on our way to the Dealer's Hall. Surprisingly I didn't get too much stuff in there that day although I was debating if I should get a Tear phone-strap (I did) and found things for mytaiyou since she wanted an America keychain... and I found a Mint Bunny for her. I even picked up tights & thigh highs because I have an obsession with not wearing pants... (mind you I wear shorts with leggings/tights instead!) I picked up the Final Fantasy box... which I actually picked one up a long time ago and ended up with a Zidane. I opened this one and got a ... Yuna! \o/ Made me happy when I opened it. (total was about 39.6~)

Well I eventually got the rest of the stuff that I wanted and C and I left go to eat lunch. We ate at a Thai restaurant and both of us had curry, different curries but whatever. Afterwards we left the restaurant and went to Safeway because C wasn't feeling so well so we got some Benadyrl for her & some throat drops. We left Safeway and while walking we ran into an Auron cosplayer. When I asked if he was Auron he sounded confused and unsure. Nevertheless, he let me take a picture of him, so THANK YOU SO MUCH! We eventually went back to the con and found D. However before we found D, I ran into a Catherine cosplayer from Catherine; a Garnet/Dagger from FFIX; a Persona 4 crew consisting of Kanji, Naoto, Yosuke, and MC; and Amu & Ikuto from Shugo Chara. We continued walking around wondering if there were any other cosplayers I could ask if I could take pictures of, and I eventually ran for a Guy... the cosplayer was nice and stopped for me since it seemed they were going to go somewhere. They also said next time if I called out their name they would've stopped~ This whole weekend I honestly ran for Tales & Persona characters... *facepalm*

Well we eventually found D and I helped him take some pictures and we even found the Garnet/Dagger cosplayer I had taken a picture of previously, lol. D didn't eat yet so we went scouting for food, and while searching I found a Jude from Xillia. We eventually found a Stein from Soul Eater... but C & I felt there was something different about him, we both thought it was Stein but something was off. Oh well. The best part was that I found a Digimon Kaiser/Emperor cosplayer! And of course I asked for a picture... and then we continued on and I noticed a Daisuke cosplayer! They even had a toy D3 along with a soccer ball! My Digimon fangirl made me all happy~ I also found a P3 Minato/Protagonist cosplayer and got a picture of him too. I got another FF picture... but for some reason I cannot figure out who one of the cosplayers were... I knew one was a female Zack, a Zack... and it's bothering me. I dunno but whatever, if someone can tell me who I'll probably be like Ahhh... although I actually never finished FFVII... or FFVIII... or FFIX... actually the only Final Fantasy game I finished was X & X-2... I'm not even done with XII or IV... Almost done with IV but I'm just so lazy to finish and XII is killing me because I'm in the boring stages. Well either way we continued on and I found another Yuna cosplayer. We continued walking around to see if we can find another place where D could get food, and we found a girl cosplaying a Moogle holding a sign saying "KUPO" so cuteee! We decided to leave but before we left I found an Advent Children Tifa!

We left and walked around to see if we could get food for D, which he eventually got food from Subway. C & I found a Tidus... inside a restaurant... with a Yuna... but we didn't want to disturb them D; I was REALLY tempted to ask if I could take a picture of them... but I didn't want to intrude. We walked around and eventually we went back to that restaurant but they were long gone... T___T

C eventually went back to my place to stay another night because it was going to be too late for her to return home, so we took the Caltrain back and we both ended up sort of passing out on the Caltrain because we were so tired. We went to the Safeway across from the Caltrain station and bought snacks & food so we can prepare dinner back at my apartment. We bought pasta, pasta sauce, & a can of sliced olives for dinner. I had tofu-sausages from Trader Joe's in my fridge so we just made all of that and dinner was pretty good. I was planning to eat the rest of my leftover curry, but I wasn't hungry anymore. While we were eating we watched a bit of Kyou Kara Maoh just because it's been a while but C was passing out because of the Benadryl she took, and so she went to sleep. I went to sleep eventually and that was the end of our fanime adventure.

Thanks for everyone who read my Fanime adventure! =]

As a final thought, C & I plan to cosplay next year... and it seems we might be cosplaying Fairy Tail (or maybe Inu x Boku SS, I got "Maniac!" stuck in her head the rest of the day! XD I told her I could be Karuta or Ririchiyo) and I'll have a Tales character for sure. We will also stay in San Jose next time, pre-register, and also stick to fan-meet times *facepalm* I missed so many characters because I was being an idiot and didn't remember fan-meet times. Sighs, oh well. Fanime was definitely an interesting experience lol.

Links (Tumblr has all the cosplay pictures)
Tumblr links: Day 1/~/Day 2 pt 1\~\Day 2 pt 2/~/Day 2 pt 3\~\Day 3 pt 1/~/Day 3 pt 2
Livejournal links: Part 1/~\Part 2
P4 - 陽介 dead

Fanime day 2 (for me) Sunday, May 26, 2013

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Day 2 始まります~!

So C & I woke up around 7:15 to freshen up and leave for the Caltrain station to San Jose. We caught the 9:15 train to San Jose and while we were going down we did some crossword puzzles (I brought a crossword puzzle book that ended up being dead-weight later on). Nevertheless we arrived in San Jose and we weren't sure which way to go but we ended up walking alongside the VTA tracks until we got closer to the Fairmont.
[Long long entry since we were there the whole day practically.]
Since we already had our badges we didn't care about go to the Fairmont, although we were looking around for a clothing store since C didn't bring enough clothes to stay over at my place. We ended up at a Ross and she got a whole outfit from head-to-toe by the end of the day. While we were walking to Ross I opened the box of Panda Pocky because I was hungry. There was a wall with pandas on them and I was telling C (because she loves pandas and because of the panda wallpaper she had on her laptop back in my junior year of uni did I make friends with her) about the pandas. I was eating a piece of Panda Pocky and the rest of it fell out of my mouth/slipped from my fingers. I told her it was retribution because I was eating panda pocky in front of pands T__T. Well we went to Ross & she tried on clothes. I also tried on a shirt because it was a shirt with a mustache on it. I was going to get it but decided not to at the last minute because I thought I could use that money to get more loot from Fanime.

Afterwards we walked to a Japanese restaurant to eat lunch. While we were waiting for our food to arrive, C's friend D wanted to meet up with her and so she stepped out to tell him how to get to the restaurant. While I was waiting I was looking out and saw an Anise, Ion, and Natalia walking on the other-side of the street. Of course I wanted to run out and take a picture but I couldn't do that since C stepped outside to talk on the phone and I was watching our stuff. So I was a disappointed Air. We got our food and ate and D arrived. He ordered a Asahi beer since he never tried Japanese beef before. He paid for our food and then we walked towards the direction of the con. While walking we ran into a Ciel wearing that pink dress of his when he cross-dressed. I took a picture of Ciel & D wanted a picture with Ciel too. D forgot his phone at the restaurant so he went back to get it while C & I waited for him.

We continued forward and ended up at Artist Alley since C & I didn't get to go the day before. However on our way to Artist Alley, right outside the convention center did I almost miss a Luke! He was just sitting on the side and while I was walking I vaguely saw at the corner of my eye red. I turned around and went "lskjdfsdfjkl" when I found out it was Luke. Of course I went to ask if I could take a picture. We continued on and ended up at Artist Alley. We went in and started going down the aisles. While we were at a table, I was about to pay for the keychains ($12 down the drain) when I looked up and saw a Yosuke! I immediately said "I'll be right back" since C was still there looking and the artist was still trying to cut the Hetalia chains out for me . I ran around and got to the Yosuke and asked him for a picture. I went back to the stall and paid for the Hetalia chains of America, Japan, England, and North Italy. I bought more stuff and got some pins (Byebye there $19... 5+6+3+5) of Zelos Wilder from Symphonia, Richard from Graces, Asch from Abyss, Lucy from Fairy Tail, Natsu from FT, Gray from FT, Maka & Soul from Soul Eater, and a Tidus from FFX. Then I reached a stall and found more phone charms and I ended up getting a Sophie from Tales Graces, Undertaker from Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler (this one is for you Carol), and Ciel (in girl form) from Kuroshitsuji.

While we circled around I found a Rita from Tales of Vesperia. C & I continued on and we literally linked arms and ran towards a Squall from FFVIII. I was like "OMG A SQUALL!" I also ran into a Finnian from Kuroshitsuji. In between I helped D take several pictures for him. We decided to stop walking around Artist Alley because C & I wanted to go back to the Dealer's Hall since we didn't have that much time the day before. D went to his car to charge his phone and take a nap. Thus C & I walked back to the main convention center. However, along the way we ran into a Death the Kid from Soul Eater. However, I felt really bad asking Kid since they said they just got out of the car and many people already stopped them to take a picture... I'M SO SORRY! D; While we got closer, I ran into a Natsu and took a picture. C & I walked upstairs to the Dealer's Hall and while we looked around I ran into a Wendy from Fairy Tail! Of course I had to ask for a picture. Then I ran into a Juvia and she was with a Happy holding a fish wrapped up (for Charle I bet). Then while I was looking around looking for stuff for dakkumauji, I ran into a North Italy! North Italy was so cute. Well C & I walked around and I picked up another set of Tales of Series box, Tales of Series Nendoroid Petite box, and a Persona 4 box. I also picked up a Gintama box along the way (total $43.50). The stuff I just named were all for dakkumauji, well depending on who's in the Persona 4 box I might be keeping that. However I do want to know who you got so I might want to ask if I can switch... I don't want two Yuri's! D

Then C & I started getting tired walking around everywhere and we saw a really cute shirt that said おにぎり 愛 with a picture of sakura & an onigiri ($20 shirt...). We both had to get one, so we have matching shirts! Yay! Well we sat down for a while and while sitting down I saw a Rikku from Final Fantasy X-2 passing by and ran up to her asking if I could take a picture. I think she did an awesome job with her costume too! Eventually C & I got back up and continued walking around. We walked out of the Dealer's Hall and circled around outside of the Dealer's Hall and I ran into a Serah Farron & Lightning from FFXIII. As we were leaving the entrance of the Dealer's Hall I ran into an Aerith Gainsborough & Cloud Strife from FFVII and a Happy (in a mascot costume... omg props to them for wearing that!). We walked towards the area where the films are shown and we met up with a Freya from Chobits! She told us she also had a Chii around but she went to take some purikura. So we thought that was cool. We walked around trying to figure out what to do next and we ended up outside and somewhat lost. Well I found a Sakura from CCS and took a picture. We walked back into the main area & took a picture of a Cloud in his Advent Children outfit (with a character from Type-0 I never noticed until I uploaded the photos... however I don't know who she is =[).

C & I ended up back upstairs near the Dealer's Hall again and we found Chii! Freya's Chii because I asked her if she happened to have a Freya with her and she said she did! Only assumed she was Freya's Chii because their outfits were similar! She asked us where we saw her and we pointed her towards the direction we last saw her, I hope she found her Freya! We continued on and ended back into the Dealer's Hall. C & I were at one of the stalls and I got a Kyle from Destiny 2 & Shing from Hearts trinket. I wanted the Asch but he was 15 dollars... (while Kyle & Shing were $8 each, so $16). I bought them and we continued on to the Yaoi table... They somehow egged me on & I ended up buying $60.50 worth of stuff... I forgot to take a picture of the "Only the Ring Finger Fits" volume 5 of the novel (that i had no idea existed). There I got the Uraboku Shijitaki, Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi shijitaki, Ouran doujinshi, the Hetalia (America & China) desktop cutouts, Hetalia charm, & two Yaoi novels for C. They gave me a free bag for spending over $50. Lol.

Well we decided to leave the Dealer's Hall because I would've spent more money... and when we walked out I saw a Hard Gay. Omg. That was awesome. Well we continued on and ran into an Akihiko from P3. Well either way we continued walking and ended up downstairs and I ran towards an Akihiko from P4A time. He did a pretty good job with his costume in my opinion hahas. Well C & I ended up at the front hall again and I saw a Chibitalia with a push-broom! I had to take a picture because she had a push-brooooooooooom. Yet once again we walked back up stairs and close to Dealer's Hall I found a Date Masamune too bad he didn't have his signature hat. While we were getting close to leaving I saw a Prussia with an America wearing a pink tutu (and both had ears). Prussia had taken off their belt & America said they took off everything else they had on and felt naked. I for some reason had a brain-fart and told them I didn't take any Hetalia cosplayers yet... because i honestly forgot I took pictures of some already *facepalm* Well never the less the posed and I snapped away.

We decided to leave the con before it got too late and so we walked back to the Caltrain station and on the grass I ran into a Rise from P4! They were confused because they didn't know I was asking them until they realized I was looming over them (they were with a group). So she posed for me and I thanked her and we continued on. We got on the Caltrain and played games on my DS Lite & my 3DS. We decided to bring my DS with some multi-player games and played them on the train because we knew we would get bored. When we got back to San Francisco we went to Super Duper and ate burgers and ordered a Strawberry Milkshake. I also ordered garlic fries.... and we realized we shouldn't have mixed the shake with garlic fries... that was a pretty bad combination that C and I had to go to a 7-eleven to get some Tums for her. All the Walgreens & Rite Aids were closed by that time. Well we caught a bus and had to change buses because it was 25 minutes before the next bus that went near my place came. Since it was 25 minutes we decided to take another bus closer towards my area before changing buses and caught the one that we would've waited 25 minutes for when it came around the area we got off. We finally got back to my place around 10ish, 11 and we went to sleep not long after I fixed some of my stuff. Man did we have a long day.

I'm going to write the 3rd and last day when I wake up in the morning... it's 3AM in the morning now T__T I'll also do the tagging later! Tagged.

Links (Tumblr has all the cosplay pictures)
Tumblr links: Day 1/~/Day 2 pt 1\~\Day 2 pt 2/~/Day 2 pt 3\~\Day 3 pt 1/~/Day 3 pt 2
Livejournal links: Part 1/~\Part 3
TotA - アッシュ

Fanime Day 1 (for me) Saturday, May 25, 2013 + what we did afterwards

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So as a spontaneous trip decided at the last minute (of a week or two?! So maybe it's not a spontaneous trip... ) my friend (where I will call her C from now on) and I went down to San Jose for Fanime! C's sister's boyfriend drove us down to San Jose after I met up with them at their hotel in San Francisco. Oh while we were looking for parking I was looking out the window and I saw a Milla Maxwell cosplayer... too bad I didn't get a picture or was able to say how awesome their outfit was. D; When we got there we went to the Fairmont Hotel to wait in line to get our badges. C had pre-registered already (which I was not informed until later otherwise I would have pre-registered when there was still time) which left the three of us in line. Lets just say the people in front of me annoyed the hell out of me. C's sister and her boyfriend decided to leave the line because of personal reasons thus I ended up waiting in line by myself for another hour or two. When I got to near the front they had signs about mobile registering and so I quickly did it so I can finally get out of that line for registering. Because I had used my phone to mobile register, I was able to get away from the group that was in front of me. I went over to the next room to wait in line to pay & pick up my badge. This was sure an experience, I'm most definitely pre-registering next year for fanime.
[C & My adventure at Fanime (on Saturday) + Our Trip in San Francisco]
While I was in line to pay and pick up my badge I ran into a Chibitalia & Holy Roman Empire. Obviously I had to ask if I can take a picture hahas. So after picking up my badge, I was trying to find C and I ended up the wrong way and ended up at a dead-end. Thankfully I wasn't the only person and I found a Cana cosplayer. Afterwards I went back to where I exited to find C and we walked out of the Fairmont. There were trucks selling food. I was very annoyed due to the fact that I waited in line for hours and the people annoyed me, and then I walked in the wrong direction after picking up my badge to find C. I spotted an Asch cosplayer near a food truck and I immediately ran up to them and asked if I could take a picture of them. Asch asked me if I would also like a Natalia and I immediately answered yes. Asch went to get Natalia for me, who was in another line at a different truck. They definitely made me feel so much happier, and their costumes were awesome.

So after Asch & Natalia we finally walked into the convention center and we were looking at a sign with the fan-meets. However since we didn't have much time, we just looked at the sign and were about to leave when I found a Seta Souji/Narukami Yu/Protagonist of Persona 4! Of course I had to ask if I could take a picture hahas.

Afterwards we walked upstairs and were wondering where to go. I bought a hotdog to eat and we kept walking around for a bit since we were on a time crunch to leave. Her sister & her sister's boyfriend wanted to walk around San Francisco. We walked to the hall where the films were located and wondered if we wanted to watch anything later on but we didn't really find much or we've already seen it. We walked towards the direction of the Dealer's Hall and went in. While I was at the table to get the Tales of Series and Persona stuff, I ran into a Chie cosplayer! They were with an Izanagi so of course I took pictures of both!

Afterwards I bought the Persona box & both Tales boxes at the bottom right in the above picture. ($40.00 gone) We walked around a little more wondering if there are other things we can get/get a feel of the dealer's hall in preparation for Sunday & Monday. I found the Vesperia Illustration's book and asked one of the vendors at the stall how much they were selling it for and he said 29.99, and I was like "O yay!" so I went up to the cashier and when he was ringing me up he said it was $38+ and C & I both thought the other guy told us it was only $30 and so I told the cashier that. He said he'll give me the special price and I was able to get it for $30+tax~! Yay! ($33.00 gone) I walked to another stall and found Tales of Series Nendoroid Petites and bought two boxes ($20.00 gone) obviously I freaked because I always wanted one of them.

***** The following section is what C & I did after Fanime, feel free to skip *****

So with that we left the convention center and walked back to where we parked and C's sister drove us back to San Francisco. C's sister's boyfriend wasn't feeling well so he was sleeping in the car, and when we got to San Francisco we were planning to walk around the pier but because he felt really bad they decided to go back home to Sacramento. We were dropped off near the football field of Galileo (my alma mater) and C and I took buses to Japantown so we can get this incense (or the business card to the place) for her sister & eat dinner. We ate at Osakaya and I had an Unagi-donburi while C ordered a roll. After we ate we walked to the store that sold the incense. We couldn't remember what her sister got last time so C just got a business card, and it seems the owner vaguely remembered us from the last time we went there. They asked us if we've been here before (or we just talk too loud because we kept debating which scent it was her sister got last time). They thanked us for coming again and let us have a business card. Afterwards we walked towards Kinokuniya where I ended up picking up another volume of ボクを包む月の光 (Boku wo Tsutsumu Tsuki no Hikari, Vol #4... I'm buying this out-of-order for some reason), May issue of 声優アニメディア (Seiyuu Animedia) with Kamiya Hiroshi on the cover and something else i think. I just can't remember what if I did. Afterwards we walked to Nijiya Market and bought some snacks for our trips back to San Jose the following days & C found the make-it-yourself candy her niece has been wanting for a while. When we finished getting snacks we took the bus back to my place. However we were craving boba/tapioca so we stopped by the closest Quickly's near my place and got drinks and walked back to my apartment.

For the rest of the night we watched Hyouka & she looked through the different artbooks I owned & manga. We decided for next year's Fanime we're going to cosplay so we were discussing possible costumes and series to cosplay as. As to how we'll get the costumes will be another story...

Links (Tumblr has all the cosplay pictures)
Tumblr links: Day 1/~/Day 2 pt 1\~\Day 2 pt 2/~/Day 2 pt 3\~\Day 3 pt 1/~/Day 3 pt 2
Livejournal links: Part 2/~\Part 3
ToG - アスベル whatever

It's that time of year again for my Christmas List again~

I don't know why I even make these anymore... I think I just make them for fun just so I have a list of things I want hahas. This based off of my wish lists from the previous years.
[Spoiler (click to open)]
  • Kpop CDs
  • Amazon gift cards
  • Movie DVDs/Blu-rays
  • Manga (In Japanese or English)
  • Artbooks
  • Photobooks
  • Rilakkuma merchandise
  • Games (PS2, PS3, DS, 3DS, PS Vita, Wii, GameCube)
  • Shoes (Boots, sandals)
  • Books (In Japanese, English, Chinese, whatever)
  • Japanese Magazines
  • Hello! Project Merchandise
  • Anime DVDs/Blu-rays
  • iPhone 5 phone cases
  • One Piece Merchandise
  • Persona Series Merchandise
  • Final Fantasy Merchandise
  • Tales of Series Merchandise
  • Digimon Merchandise
  • Nail Polish
  • Baking Books
  • Coffee Related Items
  • Video Game Guides
  • Fairy Tail Merchandise
  • Puzzle Game Books
  • Or whatever you really want to give me lol

I'm just so tired from work. Augh, the month has ONLY started =[
TRC - さくら

._. decided to make another entry for this

Okay, so I'm planning on getting Tales of the Abyss one day except I don't know which version I should get. I can either get the PS2 version or the 3DS version. Can I make a table in this entry somehow? Oh I hope this works lol, if anyone knows any other information I've listed, please contribute!
3DS vs PS2
3DS versionPS2 Version
Load times are slightly fasterLoad times are slower 
PortableCan only be played on a home console (PS2)
Playing on a small screenPlaying on a bigger screen
Only one-playerMultiplayer (thanks medomai)
Voices are in EnglishVoices are in English
Graphics are cuter (I think)Graphics are okay according to (medomai)

Thus here's my poll...: 
Poll #1860919 TALES OF THE ABYSS

Which Tales of the Abyss game should I buy?

3DS version
PS2 version
Both versions
Neither versions the game is horrible
TRC - さくら

It's cold and I don't want to write my paper =[

Lololol, it's a little late for me to write this Christmas list, well at least compared to last year lol, but here it is! It's just the same list from last year but with corrections + additions. 
Air's Christmas Wish List: 
Well.. I have this, but it's not really updated? lol
I'll update this list more when I think of more things lol

P.S. girlinkage should I change your tag?
TRC - さくら

University of California information


Sorry, I didn't feel like editing my last post, but here are the videos I was referring to about the rallies going on at my school.

This video is the police pepper-spraying the students who were attempting to occupy the Quad. I'm not saying the protesters are correct, but I'm not saying the police are at fault either. This occured on Friday, November 18, 2011.

Public education is becoming privatized and only for the elites if tuition continues to increase, as it has the past 10 years. As of the 2011-2012 academic school year, the student fees for a California resident is 15,123.36, while the student fee back when I first started during the 2007-2008 academic school year was 8,925.48. 
During the 2009-2010 school year, there was a 32% fee increase during the middle of the year. 

The next video is a video of Chancellor Katehi walking to her car after a press conference she held on Saturday. Note the silence of the students, besides several people asking Katehi questions. 

Personally, this information is only from hearsay because I was not directly involved with these instances, but because this information affects me as a student of the University of California, Davis. If any information is incorrect or information is missing, feel free to correct me. I have also not included all the information as I could for this post. And if anyone would like me to put this under a cut, please tell me.

TRC - さくら

Falling out of buildings and breaking into pieces...

Hi... I guess I'm just going to write this last post....

Oh no nothing's happening besides the fact I'm going to not have internet for a while besides my phone and typing an entry there will be hell/torture. 

I think I had a mental or nervous breakdown today. I think the correct word should be mental though... I said nervous earlier on twitter... I couldn't think correctly at the time of the tweet. I was packing for my trip back to Davis since I'm leaving in the afternoon today. And while I was packing my grandma said to me "you're getting fat" and I just broke down/became very frustrated. I mean I know I need to lose weight and since my sophomore year of high school I gained a lot of weight.... then I pretty much fell for the freshmen 15... I know it'd a myth but I really think I fell into it. =/ *sighs* but my self-esteem was breaking and I just broke. I threw things first then closed the door and sat down on a chair and just sat there blasting my music, which I left on Not Alone. I was going to just sit there and calm down but my family came in and asked what was wrong and I tried to tell them what happened, but I didn't know how to exactly explain it, and then just sat there, and the tears just started to fall... I didn't want it to but it just did. Just why today? Sure yes I know I did gain weight, but I was on the verge of breaking as it was, why'd you break it. I feel better now, but when I really think about it, that comment shouldn't have broke me like it did because I'm used to comments like those from my family... Really I am... but sometimes I do wish they would stop saying I'm not pretty enough/act too masculine. Shit, my other friends say I'm too girly for their tastes, and I'm like "wtf why do I get conflicting messages?" it hurts you know. The whole masculine vs feminine thing... I'm tired of it. Why can't I just be neutral? Why can't it be neither masculine or feminine? Maybe I'm asking for too much from my family. But I don't know. 

I'm just going to go back to watching the MCountdown stream now. =/